We had our first appointment with the Endocrinologist doctor. It went well. Unfortunately the ultra sound he did didn't show great things. My right ovary is still attached to my Uterus and I have a large Endometrioma cyst lingering around my insides. I had dye pushed into my tubes and the good news is they are open. We are not sure if they are working but they are open so that's a good thing for now. That was super painful and something I never want to do again. I think it hurt worse than having the actual surgery I had last year. So we have a plan and we are moving forward with the plan we have. It's not something I want to get into on this blog but hopefully things are looking up.
I was kind of bummed to hear that my ovary is still attached to my Uterus. I had a pretty awful surgery and was on a medication that was suppose to help clean up the Endometriosis but I don't know if it even helped. It's frustrating to not know and the last thing I want them to do is open me up again. So for now we will move forward with our plan. The new doctor we went to is awesome. He's very personable and I think I will like him. I'm not a fan of his front office staff but I don't deal with them often so that's ok with me.
I've had a REALLY tough time lately trying to figure out who is there for me and who's just not interested. I don't throw myself pity parties and I don't ever call anyone just to cry about what's going on in my life but honestly sometimes it's nice for someone to just ask how I'm doing and for me to give a simple answer of, "Oh it's going ok, or "I'm feeling great this week," or "I'm excited about our doctor appointment to see what's next for us." I don't need to go into detail but it's nice when those close to me WANT to know how Jake & I are doing with everything. There are much worse things to be going through but this is what I'm going through and it's rough. It's not easy. I have my down days where I just want to be sad but I think that's ok because I'm dealing with all of it. There are very few people in my life that really ask how I'm doing or what's going on or what's next for Jake & I.
It's super frustrating and somedays I just don't know who to count on. Maybe it's awkward for those people or maybe they just don't understand how tough this has been for me, but such is life. I could make excuses for those people for an eternity but the bottom line is it does hurt my feelings & I'm trying extremely hard to NOT let it get to me. I wouldn't wish this struggle on anyone. I'm glad I have my hubby. He's my biggest support system and I would be lost without him. I'm also grateful for those that do ask because they care about Jake & I. I'm grateful that those few people care enough to remember that we are going through a hard time and they want to know what's going on in our lives.
So here's to hopeful plans!
1 comment:
Good Luck, Girl! You are going through a lot and I don't fully understand because I have not had to go through what you are going through. But I have had two friends go through this and have been by their sides the whole time. One of my friends ended up conceiving and the other just recently adopted after trying for over 8 years. I hope what ever you and Jake are trying works out for you, sorry for all the pain you have had to endure to make your dreams of becoming a mom come true, you are a tough woman. :O)
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