Surgery

I finally went in for my lovely surgery on April 11th. The week before I had my pre-opt appointment and the doctor felt confident that she would be able to do a very minor surgery and I would be good as new in a week. So when I went in for surgery I was positive that I would be in and out in no time. I was nervous and had my Mom & Jake with me. I don't like hospitals but then again...who really does? Off I went. I remember feeling super groggy and then waking up and asking Jake if I could go home now. He said, "No your going to have to stay here for a few days." I cried. That's NOT what I wanted to hear.

The doctor went in to do the "simple" surgery only to find out that the Endometreosis was all over & that my ovaries, fallopian tubes & bowels were basically glued to my uterus {which is a bad thing}. She then decided she would have to cut me open and do major reconstructing down there. She told me later on that my insides look like that of a cancer patient because it was so horrible. Needless to say I spent 4 days in the hospital. I hated every second of it. It's so uncomfortable and people are coming and going taking vital signs at all hours of the night. It hurt to pee, it hurt to walk, it hurt to stand up. It hurt to even just lay in bed. 

The doctor finally came in and told me that I should take 6 weeks off of work which is extremely hard for me considering I like my job and take pride in what I do. She said that she wasn't even able to get all of the Endometreosis because if she would have tried she would have done more damage than anything and I would have problem after problem after problem. She also told me I have 3 options. I can try to get pregnant right away but that won't help my Endometreosis. I can get on birth control to try and help my body or I can get on a medication called Lupron which tricks my body into thinking I'm going through menopause {and yes deal with the symptoms of menopause} for 6 months and then immediately try to have a baby.

Now I'm at home trying to recover slowly and going stir crazy that I can't even fold laundry right now. I feel much better than I did when I was in the hospital but I'm still very swollen in my abdomen area and have to be very careful that I don't re-open my incision. I have LOTS of time to think about all of this and I've decided the worst part is NOT knowing what will really happen. The doctor obviously can't make promises that I can even have a baby with all of the reconstructing she had to do. She can't promise that the medication she wants me to take will make the Endometreosis completely go away. I hate not knowing what the future holds. It's driving me crazy and of course everything I watch on t.v. or read about online is about babies. Everyone I know is pregnant....kind of crazy.

I never thought I'd be making these decisions. I thought that I would just be able to wake up one day and say, "Ok it's time to get pregnant." Obviously that won't be my case. So I'll just wait and see what my future holds and try to make the best decisions possible. I had a lot of great supporters while I was in the hospital. I had tons of visitors and that made me so happy. I had my own floral shop even....everybody brought me the most beautiful flowers ever. I'm so lucky.

My Dad is AMAZING and stayed with me everyday. I don't know what I would have done without him there...He brought me the most gorgeous red roses, magazines, lunch {did I say I'm not a fan of hospital food} & he was always around trying to make me laugh and keep me positive. He did so much for me and I don't know how I'll ever repay him. My Mom was there also for my surgery. She had to go back to St. George and work and then came back to cook me dinner and get me out of the house for a bit. I love her tons. And Jake....he's been so sweet through this whole thing. He's done everything for me around the house. He cleans, cooks, gets me what I need, tells me to sit down when I try to do anything and is always there with a listening ear. He came home from work the other day and I just burst into tears. I was so angry & depressed and he made me feel so much better. He put me in the truck and we went through the drive through at Kneaders for dinner and just enjoyed each others company. What would I do without these wonderful people in my life????

So that's that. Cross your fingers things turn out the way they are suppose to. I know there are worse things in life than this so therefore I'm lucky.