When Life Gives You Lemons!

Life is busy as always this time of year. Always a birthday, a BBQ, helping a friend, this list goes on. I don't mind it. I like being busy.

Jake's been planting his Dad's garden for him. Nothing makes me more happy than when he does things for his parents that make them happy. His Dad LOVES to garden but unfortunately his health and bad knees won't allow him to do so anymore. Jake was bummed I think because growing up the garden was a big part of their family. So he decided to take it upon himself to plant his Dad's garden. He asked his brother and sisters to help weed when needed and his Dad can water daily so it worked out perfect. I think his Dad was excited. Jake was over there every night for a week tilling the dirt, planting the veggies & he even made his Dad sit outside with him. This made me happy! I hope they had some good conversation during that time.

The garden looks awesome.

{pictures to come when things start growing}

We celebrated our 4 year anniversary. Time flies. We didn't really do anything exciting. Just dinner out. I'm so lucky to have married this man. He ROCKS.
I planned a weekend getaway to visit Jake's brother and sister in law in San Francisco in July. I'm stoked. I think Jake's excited. We are staying in their new home. I can't wait to see what their life is like in Cali. I'm excited to love on our niece and nephew all weekend and just relax. Jake's brother and his family are so kind to open up their home to us to visit. Counting down the days....

I went to St. George for a week for work. Much needed and I had the best time with my Mom and my Grandma. The weather was warm. I didn't have a set schedule, I didn't have anywhere to be except my work conference that only lasted 2 days & we just hung out. I ate a lot of junk food, a lot of my Mom's homemade cooking and I got to visit with both sets of grandparents and it was perfect. My Step Dad took us to Zions for lunch one day. It was gorgeous. We ate at a place called Oscars. The food was awesome. Highly recommended.  

We celebrated our friends little boys 1st birthday. He's the sweetest little boy ever. He has the cutest little scrunchy face when he gets excited. It makes my day. His sweet mama planned the cutest party for him. He loved his cake & savored every bite.
{pictures to come as soon as I upload them}

My lovely cyst is still hanging out in my ovary. I had a follow up ultra sound last Friday and instead of 3cm the cyst is now 5cm. It can't make up its mind. Therefore I still can't go ahead with insemination which was our plan. Now it's time to decide what to do. Do we spend the money and do IVF, do we spend the money and try to adopt? What's the plan here? Why are we being tested or given this "trial." I only call this a trial for now because I don't know why we are the chosen ones. I'm sure once I figure this whole mess out it will be more of an ahhh ha moment but for now I'm calling it my trial....I always say MY. I'm the one with the issues, I'm the one who's putting us through all of this. It's my body that can't do what it's suppose to do. Jake would disagree but that's how I feel. What women wouldn't feel that way? I hate being that girl that's down on life. I hate it more than anyone knows but this is one thing I haven't been able to snap out of.

I'm kind of in a funk right now. Not really in the mood to hang out with anyone, not in the mood to listen to people's problems {which is odd because I love being there for EVERYONE}. I'm not in the mood to go out and do anything fun. I've just been a homebody with 0 motivation. I'm trying to make decisions and I don't know what the best decision is so I can't make them. If I choose one thing and it doesn't work then what?? Money is the obvious concern. Everything costs money. Money we don't just have to throw around. What we have is basically what we have. I don't want to make the wrong choice and be out thousands of dollars.
Some might disagree and say, "well at least you tried that option." No it's easy for people on the outside to look at my situation and say, "It's not that hard. Make a decision. If it's not the right one then choose something else."

I know theres reasoning behind all of this. I know I haven't figured it out yet. Someday...hopefully sooner than later.